Adios 2010!

This should be my last post for 2010.

I thank God for 2010 for a lot of things:

• for the lessons I've learned
• for the things I've experienced
• for the things I received
• for the places I've been
• for the people I've met
• for the situations I have survived
• for the family and friends that stood by me
• for problems that strengthened every bit of me
• for people that made me smile and laugh
• for God's faithfulness
• for God's blessings and grace
• for Christmas.. for without Christmas there would be no hope...
• for God's plans for the future
• last but not the least, I'm thankful for this bountiful year of 2010

So, as I go through this last day in the 365 days of 2010, I live and leave this day with thankfulness, and hopefully with no regrets. And I welcome 2011 with anticipation that it will be much more bountiful than this year. For we are blessed to be a blessing...

Cheers!

Josy

Heroes and the Victory Lane

As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend. - Proverbs 27:17 NLT

I have often heard this and felt nothing but an anticipation trying to think that when time of my sharpening I have already passed it like one of those great historical heroes(especially the Hero on the Cross) walking in the road of victory. Little did I know, that those heroes weren't called heroes for nothing, they actually fought. Not just cheap acting like I see or imagine in books and movies, but actually wars, sacrifices, suffering, and hurts had been given and gone through just to walk through that victory lane.

When my time came, I felt like an innocent child walking in a room full of sharp objects that might hurt me parentless and helplessly. That's what I felt, but the truth is I know what's going on in there, what I don't know is how it feels and how I should react or respond to things going around me. I felt that I would ever fall in those trouble slots. I did, I made a mistake. It was like stepping into a hole, headfirst.

During those sharpening, my first reaction is numbness, shocked, electrified, silent, and apologetic. Then, guilt came and almost swallowed me, attacking me we were almost one since I let it in. I let it in because I felt it belong. I had the right over it ever since I fell into the trouble slot. After much soaked with self pity, those silent sincere little words came out, pure teary confessions, to the one I'm sharpening with and to the Creator of the sharpened - "I was wrong. I have sinned. I am sorry...." I made a mistake not only to this sharpened person but also to the Creator who made it, insulting his creation, insults the Creator. There was nothing I could have done more.

I was very sad. It's the feeling I really dread. Sadness. I have felt this way before. Obviously not the very best moments in my life. It's a dry crackling feeling, that any time, any time, you feel like collapsing and bursting into tears. But then I had to be strong. I had to be strong for those around me. I had to be that tower, when I really I have my God as my tower. It's not with pride, that I feel for. It's for those people who have crumbled and broken. It's for the people around me who I hate to see cry for me. I want them to know everything's alright because they have enough burdens to carry and to add them my own would all be too discouraging for me.

Most people would think I am being selfish. In fact, I think I actually being one sometimes. But then, I had to make room for myself. Or else everyone would be contaminated of a disease called sadness, hate and all the negatives and negativity of the world. Most people think, people who make mistakes are bad. Bad. Labeled. Boxed, put away forever. I realized when I made mine, it doesn't mean that when they made a mistake they didn't get hurt too, because the moment they plunge into the realization that they did made a mistake, all of the world's trouble fell into their shoulders. And it becomes heavy, to those who were repentant, wouldn't ever let go of the guilt and blame themselves. I am empathetic. That's why I am thankful for the Christ who paid the due for me the guilt and the mistakes I have made. I am thankful that I can let go. I am thankful that He was, is, always will be redemptive of me. That's why, I believe I should also be with others. That when they mistake I should always be redemptive and out-love them out of their mistakes and wrongs. Now, I know.

Now, I know how those heroes are. Those sharpened people. Those victorious people. That they didn't come in a blink of an eye heroes. They traveled roads to be one. Just so, everyone of us has a story to tell, and have all the right to be called heroes, even those who made mistakes. Especially those who are repentant. Christ has truly came to save. In that, I am thoroughly thankful for Christmas. If there was no Christmas, I'd be still crying of guilt. Thanks, Jesus.

But I am no perfect person saying all this things. This is how I felt. I may left out some things but mostly this is what I wanted to say. I can only say it, because that wonderful person, that Christ who saved me on the Cross, that Jesus who was born on Christmas day, had given me the strength, the pardon, His life, that I may come through whatever goes my way for His glory. I lay everything to Him, my pain, my glory, my everything. And in this sharpening I am a step closer to Him. In this sharpening I have learned something. I am forever grateful. I'm still healing, growing. Thank you. :)

Loneliness

This loneliness swallows me.

I try to gulp away the tears and the bitter vaccuum of standing alone.

Where are you?

Where do I find you?

I’m sick and pale of this emotion this feeling eating me up.

I long for that green pasture.

Could it be in the secret and quite place I can find you?

Could it be when I open that sweet, sweet letter you gave I find you?

Where are you?

I need you.

I need you in every second.

I make mistakes and don’t know why I do things I do.

I say things I say.

Meaningless are those uttered words I utter when I am alone of the face of the world.

I am in pain.

I need you, I want you.

How long must I wait to have a grasp of your secure hand?

I’m not even sure if I deserve you.

All I know is that you love me, and that’s enough for me.

Be with me, let me feel you…

All I need to know is there is someone out there.

I give room for that and this faith is the bridge.

I go on and cross it, not knowing you already did.

Thanks.

Why I love my dictionary.

Thee, thou, thy, mine and etc… The call of old English –as they call it– and the deep meanings of words I’ve never heard of buzzes my head numb. But then the bitter thick letters of my healing dictionary opens my eyes to a level of understanding that I could sing the meaning of such words… Why I love my dictionary? It’s bulgy, somewhat heavy, and probably dusty too. But still, it is heavy of information, ever ready to divulge information to soak my mind with the definition of words necessary for me to express; to use those words I understood sometime when the time comes. But, then thanks to the geniuses of the 20^th and 21^st century the dictionary is at my fingertips through the messy bowl of networks of the internet and other programs and applications. I didn’t mean to sound unappreciative of the gift but the hard thick dictionaries and other old books that took (probably) years for the crafter to compile and write sits lonely in the shadows of spiderwebs in a shelf somewhere in the jungle of our house not even noticed as even if sometimes used as a decoration.I think from time to time let’s take our eyes of the radiation glower to spend some time for our eyes to linger in the mastery and pride of the past– those dictionaries and other books that used to be our bestfriends when the world paused. ;) Those coffee colored pages reminds us to be humble because of our humble beginning. But of course, not to remain in the past, but to look in past to learn from it, to prepare us for the so called future, to guide us in the present, to keep our feet on the ground from time to time to balance our lifestyle of defying gravity.

Peace Ya’ll. :D

juicy

P.S. and you can check out the internet with the new words of the new definition. :D hee,hee. Cheeky. ;)

Letters to men.

Dear all,

below is my desire. my game plan. i wish to follow it. i will follow it by God's grace and help. :D

xoxox,

josy

Letter 1:

Dear man,

Did you ever knew that in my dreams ‒the ones I have in between and during boring classes‒ you had a honey tongue that makes me ears numb in the tingle of your words, half drunken because it was almost to sweet to be heard? Alas, reality crumble down my dream because if did you just played the hurting game everybody else played.

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Letter 2:

Dear man,

You told me I am pretty. But I thought pretty is an underrated word to describe such magnificent creation. (aha ;) ) But then I thought again, the way you said it, it sounded like a quite impressive scientific adjective to design, describe, and to call a wonder...

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Letter 3:

Dear man,

My heart beats as fast as shifting lights in a tunnel-highway every time you blink and smile profusely at me. Am I being a fool or am I being a fool? You should know the answer to my fluttering questions knocking the door of you heart and teasing your eyes because it's either you have another of an opportune moment to toy with a beautiful person and an all precious heart. Or it's because none have ever uttered words and feelings such as I sing to you.

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Letter 4:

Dear man,

Let me tell you a thought most women have forgotten in sin. Purity and hearts or feelings are pure vessels used for the good of the people and of God. It is not played at. Like a flower the more you poke it the more its worth decreases, the more it's life span decreases. Eventually, it dies. Instead it should be taken care of as you would take care of your pet, your gadgets, your laptop, your face, your skin, your body, your life. Purity and heart or feelings given to the right person on the right time on the right place makes a beautiful song of harmony until it slowly ages, learn, and mature to become a symbol of happiness displayed for the glory of its Maker.

Now, don't you want to play that harmony instead of playing a short-lived game that ends in tragic brokenness?

Love always,

Lady - a daughter of eve

P.S. this is what i read in a book: Have fun! But don't hurt yourself. :) now, that's a game plan.

Laughter.

Laughter. A strong emotion. It gets us through tough times of embarrassment, hardship, broken hearts, and other sticky situation. I marvel how people have this ability to create laughter, that bubbly sound of life. I desire such gift to touch people more than magic can do, making a difference in a split second. But in one way or another, we have that built-in punch and kicks of jokes or actions to cause pure laughter that relieves sadness in a moment. Let's use it.

My friend, I know you have that talent. Perhaps you hide this awesome talent, or perhaps it's a dead seed waiting for a good soil and a drizzle of water to grow and bloom. Out, let it out, let it out. Let it bloom and travel and linger in God-made faces and hearts. For when the time of the wind comes and it blows to our faces to sing a serious song, we shall be ready and strong. There are much sorrow in the world, let's not add to that weight. God will help us.

To every [thing there is] a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: - Ecclesiastes 3:1

Victory

Slight drumming beat

Moves lightly to my feet

As the rhythm of anger and defeat

Forcing to leap and abound

I release it through the strumming sound

Free, I will be, and free, I become

Winners are the ones who do not keep grudge and guilt

But none of it helps

So, take down the world

All the riches and pearls

But still none of it heals

Confusion and swirls

Tangled in hurt and pride

So, I heed the Maker of the sun to shine its glory

To expel every dirt of pride

Heal the hurt with grace and love

Open arms, open eyes, open heart

He mercifully receives me, I receive Him

Now, I can say

He that is within me is greater than these pulling strings

No more shall I ask why

Gone will be the Liar and the lies

For I’ll sigh in reply

He died and rose from death and conquered everything

So I can come out clean and be with Him for the glorious eternity

We can.

Hi!

I might be a little bit carried away, but I feel that what I wrote here is true. I scribbled it sometime when I was struck by a thought like you would have shot an arrow. So, here it goes, enjoy!

The scorching sun is heating my skin up as me and my Dad swift through the heavy flow of traffic by the seemingly secure motorbike. We were on our way to our work place. I was thinking of the sacrifice of serving in such place. I was counting it,ironically counting sacrifices instead of blessings–heat, pain of being a passive smoker, complications of being friendless of friends that really understand the thick and thin span of your being, homesickness, fatigue, and boredom. But then being caught up in the countless list of small personal complains, I begin to forget and drift away from the truth that silently speaks of the faithfulness of our dear Master. As I went through the day, with the nostalgic music of deep-traditioned people in the air conditioned bus where the driver kept smoking in front of me awakening my ill-forgotten sickness in breathing, I pouted and smiled along, letting the day dissolve my energy. From 2 motorcyle rides, 3 headache-causing bus rides, we arrived to our destination just before a quick pour of rain with a wild strong blowing wind. I wondered at myself at this very hour after those moments have passed, that I haven’t quite balanced my day with a few spats of good, encouraging, positive words to myself and my parents. I had so many things to complain about, the chicken I just ate is too hard and chewy, there was nothing to do and it was boring. It was too selfish, I was too selfish. Why? I’m blinded, now I realize. How could I ever say I do not love myself enough and yet complain so much just to express and get the comfort I wanted? To be fair, maybe in this world, I’m not the only one that’s like this. Yes, we are sometimes, in fact, we don’t notice it in the little things that we do often times, all the time, any time. Are we all this hopeless? NO. No, we are not. Our dear Master said: we can do all things through Him that strenghtened us. Therefore, we can. Yes, we can. We can speak beautiful things out of the most outrageously uncomfortable objects we encounter. Not on just on big things where there are people observing you. But on the little things or happenings we do where nobody’s looking. W e are defined on little things. Big things rarely come up. Little circumstances we conquer store up until it become big mountains of victories and confidence we earned. To be clearer, I meant that I am learning as everyone else, young and old alike, to see the bright side of the story. To rejoice in suffering because we reap what we sow, the simple laws of nature. We all might have forgotten, as I did. But we all now got reminded that whoever is faithful on little things will be trusted to handle big things and that we reap what we sow and last but not the least, we can do all things through Christ that strengthens me. With bold heart and a strong mind, I can face the world and say I can. We can.

introducing me?

Hi,

Thank you once again for reading this blog. I guess, the second, or rather fthe first which I was delayed, is to introduce myself. So, I will do so.

My name is Josy. I’m a fourteen-year old proud-to-be Filipino. I enjoy listening to music, writing songs, poems, stories, and in this case I have come to enjoy blogging. I am amazed in the magical powers of authors in their books on how they inform, entertain, and enchant a reader by carefully weaving their stories and information. I like to bake and cook and slowly learn to flourish in the practical side of life of cleaning the house, and my room, and being responsible. I spend most of my time studying and staying in touch with family and friends through the blessing of internet. I value so much in my heart the blessing of family and friends. I am quite old-fashioned, suprisingly. I like the old so much, for without the old there would be no new. And mostly, I delight in spending time with God and awing at every sight He reveals to me. I grow in all aspects of life through Him. Without Him, I am nothing. I am certainly not the most consistent of all His followers, I admit. But I rejoice that my God is faithful and teaches me and gives me strength I need. As Paul said, in my weak point I am at the strongest for God helps me. J

So, I’ll sign off now, because it doesn’t seem to be healthy and appropriate talking about oneself too long. I’m quite sure you understand. ;)

Sincerely,

Josy

First Bloom

Hi there blogs-readers!

At first, I was not quite sure of what a blog is, until I read one. But, well of course, i'm not that uninformed of a person that I have never heard of one. So, yes, I have read several blogs, but I never quite appreciated its beauty, the beauty of the freedom of expression to speak(or write) the contents of one's mind and heart. Until, I read three, well-written, freshly inspired blogs of three, outspoken, extraordinary, beautiful ladies, who happened to be friends of mine. And it made me want to write and touch people, strikingly soft, but direct and concise, and of course seemingly flawless, just like them.

So, I will begin the glorious opening of my blog – just like any other blog, glorious at its first bloom as it continues to grow and display it's beauty. I do hope that you may be blessed and pick pretty(and useful) pebbles of lessons(or rather wisdom) in this magnificently wide road of life to learn and use it in every vanishing minute it is needed to be used.

Hence, I will call my blog: Pretty little pebbles on the road.

Sincerely,

Josy