As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend. - Proverbs 27:17 NLT
I have often heard this and felt nothing but an anticipation trying to think that when time of my sharpening I have already passed it like one of those great historical heroes(especially the Hero on the Cross) walking in the road of victory. Little did I know, that those heroes weren't called heroes for nothing, they actually fought. Not just cheap acting like I see or imagine in books and movies, but actually wars, sacrifices, suffering, and hurts had been given and gone through just to walk through that victory lane.
When my time came, I felt like an innocent child walking in a room full of sharp objects that might hurt me parentless and helplessly. That's what I felt, but the truth is I know what's going on in there, what I don't know is how it feels and how I should react or respond to things going around me. I felt that I would ever fall in those trouble slots. I did, I made a mistake. It was like stepping into a hole, headfirst.
During those sharpening, my first reaction is numbness, shocked, electrified, silent, and apologetic. Then, guilt came and almost swallowed me, attacking me we were almost one since I let it in. I let it in because I felt it belong. I had the right over it ever since I fell into the trouble slot. After much soaked with self pity, those silent sincere little words came out, pure teary confessions, to the one I'm sharpening with and to the Creator of the sharpened - "I was wrong. I have sinned. I am sorry...." I made a mistake not only to this sharpened person but also to the Creator who made it, insulting his creation, insults the Creator. There was nothing I could have done more.
I was very sad. It's the feeling I really dread. Sadness. I have felt this way before. Obviously not the very best moments in my life. It's a dry crackling feeling, that any time, any time, you feel like collapsing and bursting into tears. But then I had to be strong. I had to be strong for those around me. I had to be that tower, when I really I have my God as my tower. It's not with pride, that I feel for. It's for those people who have crumbled and broken. It's for the people around me who I hate to see cry for me. I want them to know everything's alright because they have enough burdens to carry and to add them my own would all be too discouraging for me.
Most people would think I am being selfish. In fact, I think I actually being one sometimes. But then, I had to make room for myself. Or else everyone would be contaminated of a disease called sadness, hate and all the negatives and negativity of the world. Most people think, people who make mistakes are bad. Bad. Labeled. Boxed, put away forever. I realized when I made mine, it doesn't mean that when they made a mistake they didn't get hurt too, because the moment they plunge into the realization that they did made a mistake, all of the world's trouble fell into their shoulders. And it becomes heavy, to those who were repentant, wouldn't ever let go of the guilt and blame themselves. I am empathetic. That's why I am thankful for the Christ who paid the due for me the guilt and the mistakes I have made. I am thankful that I can let go. I am thankful that He was, is, always will be redemptive of me. That's why, I believe I should also be with others. That when they mistake I should always be redemptive and out-love them out of their mistakes and wrongs. Now, I know.
Now, I know how those heroes are. Those sharpened people. Those victorious people. That they didn't come in a blink of an eye heroes. They traveled roads to be one. Just so, everyone of us has a story to tell, and have all the right to be called heroes, even those who made mistakes. Especially those who are repentant. Christ has truly came to save. In that, I am thoroughly thankful for Christmas. If there was no Christmas, I'd be still crying of guilt. Thanks, Jesus.
But I am no perfect person saying all this things. This is how I felt. I may left out some things but mostly this is what I wanted to say. I can only say it, because that wonderful person, that Christ who saved me on the Cross, that Jesus who was born on Christmas day, had given me the strength, the pardon, His life, that I may come through whatever goes my way for His glory. I lay everything to Him, my pain, my glory, my everything. And in this sharpening I am a step closer to Him. In this sharpening I have learned something. I am forever grateful. I'm still healing, growing. Thank you. :)
